nysheArt expressAway nysheArt expressAway
waiting for an apology

is hurting me more than the wrong doers.
but when the wrong doers are loved ones, even more so.
see, i knew i didn’t need it to be said because for me to be wronged by, I’ve already won.
the saddest part of all of this, was that seeing a part of them breaks and then they let it become this dark spot and no matter how shiny the rest of them are, i could see that dark spot grew darker.
it destroys me deeply because God hasn’t open their heart to apology.
and that means, God is letting me know that they didn’t regret what they’ve done yet.
and i care still thus hurting continues…

1st December, Sunday (12:34am) Reblog ↬

i used to sing on stage. my first time was when i was 7 years old and the last time was when i was 24. besides singing, i did traditional dance mostly. acted a little then directed and re scripted a play from old malay movies for my uni club dinner gala. i was used to performing on stage.

it was one of my happy places. but it less being so somewhere in my late 20s. suddenly all i wanted to do was write, travel and capture images. i wanted to paint too. i don’t even know if i could paint to be honest.
but these were the feelings that had arrived. soon i found Tumblr.
then i got my first DSLR on my 26th birthday.
ever since i struggled to find where my new happy places are.

then i discovered my happy places are found during travel, where mostly comes from strangers random charm around me. i remembered these faces like a photo of old friends.
at home, my nieces and nephews never failed to amaze me by effortlessly able to lift my spirit.
growing up, music has that same effect. but lately that rarely does anymore and i wonder why.

you think it’s you who have to hold on to things but that’s not the case. it is so hard to have something holding on to your spirit instead. and my wondering why answered its own question.

there is an outside force at play all these times. it gives me that love or hope or replace it with new things for me to learn.

when i was young, i’d always said, i don’t know why but these things makes me happy.

now i’m older, i know what makes me happy was given to me, meant for me.

the difference was that i knew God gave them to me AND for greater purpose - to open my heart to see that there are larger stage out there for me to discover.

and now, i sing better.
i truly sing.

15th November, Friday (6:15am) Reblog ↬
Be humble in order to attain enlightenment. Thus, after attaining it, be more humble still.

— Samael Aun Weor, The Revolution of the Dialectic  (via absea)

15th November, Friday (1:12am) Reblog ↬

Speak your heart. If they don’t understand, the message was never meant for them anyway.

— Yasmin Mogahed (via thespookytenenbaums)

28th October, Monday (6:51pm) Reblog ↬
We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.

— Yasmin Mogahed -Reclaim Your Heart (via revolutionizethesoul)

16th October, Wednesday (6:23pm) Reblog ↬
I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her skin.

Sandra Cisneros  (via le-entracte)

23rd September, Monday (11:05pm) Reblog ↬
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.

— Carl Jung (via likeafieldmouse)

29th June, Saturday (2:54pm) Reblog ↬

delight in you. | via : foxontherun: agentlewoman
Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.

— Sylvia Plath (via indicio)

23rd June, Sunday (9:09pm) Reblog ↬

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